Navigating Anxiety and Stress During Major Life Transitions (Like Moving Overseas)

Big moves, big changes... big stress.

Major life changes are inevitable. Managing those changes - whether positive or negative - requires recognizing the stress they may bring about and maintaining some semblance of sanity. Life can throw curveballs just when we think we're headed for home base. Below are some tips for combatting stress and anxiety, seeking support, and sustaining a healthy routine during your major transition. 

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Understanding the Emotional Impact of Transformation

Sudden and intentional shifts in our daily routines can be jarring. Events like having a baby, going through a divorce, losing loved ones, or facing illness demand significant adaptation, patience, and rational conduct. Though often deliberate, positive life changes as well can also unleash a range of emotions. You might feel exhilaration about new opportunities, but it is just as common to feel anxiety and stress.

Positive life changes such as moving overseas can be one of the most exciting and challenging experiences in life. The joy of discovering new cultures, meeting new people, and embarking on a different journey can be an incredible experience that many only dream about. With a changing global society, political unrest in the U.S., and an increasing demand for foreign workers around the world, moving to another country is more desirable than ever.

However, relocating to a different country and/or adapting to new environments, customs, climates, and the unfamiliar can shock your system. The challenges of adapting to a new environment, grasping a different culture (and language!), and establishing a support network in a new job or community can feel overwhelming. If you're willing and fortunate enough to move to a different country, adjusting to your new life can be fraught with stress and anxiety due to unexpected pitfalls and the many differences from your previous existence.

Whether you're moving for work, study, or personal reasons or are experiencing overwhelming life changes at home, it's crucial to acknowledge and confront the emotional hurdles that may arise during the transition. The emotional strain you didn't think you were under may lead to anxiety, loneliness, and in some cases, depression and physical disease. Recognizing that these feelings are part of the journey can help you validate your experiences and find ways to cope.

Misgivings in the Motherland

Immediately following my recent move to Germany, I was elated. The countryside is lush and green, with rolling hills, picturesque villages, and almost zero traffic lights. I had made it! When I finally landed near my new workplace - dead tired and desperate for a comfortable home - I found accommodation in a vacation rental. The four-story house had gorgeous Italian tile, two balconies, and was situated on a small river winding through a long city park. It was love at first sight.

After one month in country, however, anxiety started to creep in. The money I had saved for my transition was almost gone. The famously efficient German transportation system is sparse in this neck of the woods, so I needed to buy a car. I was using credit cards for essentials, like food, work attire, etc. Promised reimbursements for expenses from my previous job had not yet been received. My first German paycheck arrived, and much of it was taxed. Paying too much rent at the vacation home sapped the majority of my salary.

But I would not give up - I'd find ways to make it, even if I incurred a bit of debt doing so. I found another rental home that was almost half as much as the first, and I began to pinch pennies wherever I could. Once I could settle down in a comfortable location that wouldn't break the bank, I'd be okay. I knew it.

Then I was hit with a big blow: my residency permit in Germany was no longer valid, and I was unaware that I could not work without it. When I previously lived in Germany, all I needed was a contract from my employer. The laws changed in my five-year absence. Doing my research, I discovered there is a whole new visa application process that should have started from my home country, which I hadn't lived in for two years. Not being able to work didn't help my financial - or emotional - situation at all. In essence, I was grounded, stuck in a place that wasn't my home, worrying I might have to leave.

Overly focused on everything that had gone wrong, rather than noticing what was right, I was a wreck. In fact, I was overthinking everything. My mind was racing daily, and the negativity was exhausting me.

Having had enough of my stress and worry. I woke up one morning and decided I would "flip" my feelings, taking the negative thoughts and replacing them with something positive.

Signs of Stress and Anxiety

Both you and your body can easily detect increasing stress levels, and it's normal to have various responses to worry and anxiety. Typical signs include:

• Physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or changes in appetite. Stress can impact your body in various physical ways, affecting overall health. Constant worry also caused me to begin having occasional stomachaches and trouble sleeping.

  
  

• Emotional symptoms such as feelings of sadness, irritability, or being overwhelmed can be common emotional responses. You may also have difficulty concentrating. It wasn't uncommon for me to feel a bit confused or occasionally lose focus, due to being preoccupied with my problems. I began feeling lonely and yearned for someone to talk to. I was having nightmares.

  
  

• Behavioral changes. When we're tired, we tend to be more pessimistic than when we're well-rested. The opposite was true for me. Every day I woke up to my worrisome thoughts, which began as soon as I opened my eyes. You may also find yourself withdrawing from social activities. This shift can significantly affect your daily life and mental health. Conversely, I discovered that I needed to see familiar people in order to feel sane, and short conversations with my new neighbors and keeping in touch with my new colleagues made me feel almost normal.

  
  

Taking proactive measures to address your emotional well-being during a significant transition will help you stay strong and healthy so you can enjoy new experiences and focus on living.

There are many breathing techniques to alleviate stress. Try breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly through your pursed lips. Do this several times until you feel less tense.

Establishing a Routine

Creating a daily routine can provide needed stability during the chaos that comes with moving. Routine helps ground you and can significantly alleviate anxiety. Consider these routine-building ideas:

• Set regular meal times and enjoy your new experiences. Eating meals at consistent times can help regulate both your body and mind, and feeding your body a variety of nutritious foods during your transition will keep you clear-headed and help you maintain energy during stressful times. Take the time to really taste what you're eating. Explore local cuisine: trying local dishes can be an enjoyable way to engage with others. Visiting local markets or restaurants not only helps you learn more about the area but also supports local businesses. Try a restaurant near your new home; get delivery or take-out. Treat yourself occasionally and experience different foods.

  
  

  

  A vibrant local market showcasing fresh, healthy produce and local goods is a great place to explore and stock up on locally-made food items.

• Get plenty of rest. A good night's sleep will support emotional well-being. It is crucial for physical and mental health, supporting brain function and the body's ability to stay healthy. It also improves memory, concentration and problem-solving skills. An active mind needs to perform well, and a worrying mind may be put at ease with sensible resolutions to what seem like insurmountable problems.

  
  

• Exercise. Regular physical activity is a natural stress reliever. Whether it’s a morning jog or walking in your neighborhood, exercising for just 30 minutes a day can improve mood and reduce feelings of anxiety. Vigorous exercise, like a brisk walk, helps the body use up the adrenaline and glucose released during a stress response, reducing negative physical effects. Exercise serves another purpose: deep breathing while you're moving can reduce stress and improve oxygen uptake, making you feel better.

  
  

  

  Bodily movement helps calm the amygdala by physically releasing stress and signaling safety to your brain.

• Avoid alcohol and caffeine, if possible. Alcohol may relax you in the moment and serve as a temporary remedy for your misery, but too much may aggravate your nervous system. Caffeine can increase anxiety by stimulating the central nervous system, which can worsen symptoms like a fast heart rate and restlessness. I found this to be especially true after an additional cup of coffee; my stressful thoughts come back very quickly, and it's difficult to calm down.

  
  

• Drink enough water! This may be a very obvious bit of advice, but not taking in enough water can cause unanticipated physical ailments such as dizziness, fatigue, rapid breathing, tachycardia (increased heart rate) and irritability. Less water also increases the production of the stress hormone cortisol, which can add to feelings of anxiety and irritability. The hormonal imbalance can also decrease "happy hormones" like serotonin and dopamine. Additionally, dehydration can directly impact brain function, also potentially worsening anxiety and depression symptoms. Not drinking enough water can lead to several potential diseases and complications, including kidney stones, kidney failure, and urinary tract infections. (I became afflicted with the last during my stressful days leading up to the publishing of this post.) When you're hyperstressed, it's difficult to remember the simple things we need to do to take care of ourselves, but water supports mental health as well.

  
  

• Stop the mindless scrolling. Spending too much time reading the (bad) and looking at social media posts can lead to negative mental health outcomes like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and poor sleep. It may also worsen existing mental health conditions by creating a cycle of negative thoughts, and it interferes with real-life engagement and focus. Find something productive to do instead, like reading a book or writing in a journal. Pet your dog, visit your neighbor, send a message to an old friend, or take a walk.

  
  

• Schedule social activities.  Make plans to engage with others regularly, whether it’s a coffee date with a new friend or a group outing to explore local attractions. Don't turn down invitations, especially in a country where such behavior is frowned upon. Take the chance on becoming part of something new and different.

A favorite place to meet up with friends, new or established, is a coffee shop. But watch out! Caffeine can raise your anxiety levels, increasing symptoms like a racing heart, nervousness, and restlessness.

You Deserve Support

One of the most effective strategies to combat post-move stress and anxiety is to build a network of friendly people, and talk to them. Connecting with others facing similar challenges - or those that are settled and familiar with your situation - can provide comfort. Here’s how to establish that crucial support system.

Find your people. Get to know your colleagues, and talk with them. As my new boss told me at lunchtime during my first day on the job in Germany, "Go socialize." Being in a new place makes for many new experiences. Look up cultural events or places you can visit. Check out festivals and flea markets with someone you're getting to know, or by yourself; you'll appreciate seeing new sights. Take a language class in your local community college. Try a cooking class.

Many cities have communities or clubs focused on various interests. Joining a running club, art group, or book club can help you meet new friends. Participating in a regional hiking group for example can combine exercise with social interaction, enhancing your connection to the area. Take a painting class - it will help you relax and introduce you to others.

Again, don't turn down invitations from people that are interested in getting to know you. These are opportunities to start new friendships and enjoy new experiences.

Chat with the neighbors.  In one study, 82% of people reported feeling happier after making new connections in their neighborhood. Take the time to introduce yourself. Even a brief conversation can make your new place feel more like home. Be friendly. Share food. Wave. If you're in a non-English-speaking country, getting to know the locals will also help your new language skills.

Get online. Platforms such as Facebook and Meetup can connect you with those you love and know from back home and around the world, and offer the potential to make new friends in your local area. Look for groups focused on hobbies or activities that interest you. If you're lonely, you can also find friends on dating apps, like Tinder.

Phone home. Do you miss your favorite sister or a grandparent? There's nothing stopping you from reaching out to let them know they're on your mind. You might be the one needing comfort, but they don't have to be aware of that. If you choose to be open and share your concerns, loneliness, or issues, someone who loves you will provide the support you need.

You may think you don't need anyone and that you have to struggle alone. Wrong! Talk to friendly people to ease your anxiety.

Engage with the Universe

Among the bustle of moving, prioritizing self-care is vital. Taking time for yourself can help you reduce stress and anxiety. Here are some self-care practices to consider:

• Pray. Seek assistance from your spiritual guide, God, or the universe. There's never a wrong place or time to speak your fears, joys, gratitude, and pain. Prayer is effective at alleviating stress, anxiety, and depression while boosting feelings of hope, purpose, and emotional regulation. It can offer a sense of connection to a higher power or community, create a framework for dealing with challenges, and encourage positive emotions through practices like gratitude and mindfulness. Make prayer part of your daily routine. Find a spot that is holy or sacred to you, and allow the energy you're sending out to receive good energy in return.

  
  

  

  
  

• Mindfulness and meditation. Mindfulness can help keep you grounded. Incorporating daily meditation—even for just 10 minutes—can alleviate anxiety and enhance clarity. Live in the present. Try not to think about the future. This is easier said than done when we have immense emotional burdens, but it will help ground you in the moment. Again, practice breathing deeply and exhaling negative energy.

• Journaling, blogging or posting. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic outlet for processing emotions. Researchers found that journaling can improve mood and reduce stress levels. Document your experiences on social media or through a personal blog. Take pictures of your new adventures. Sharing your adventures can create a sense of connection to home, even when you are far away.

• Send care packages, letters or postcards. Sending and receiving care packages can be a fun way to maintain ties and share elements of your new life, bridging the distance. Sending anything through the mail creates joy at both ends, for the recipient and the sender. Postcards are inexpensive to mail out, and handwritten letters show you took the time to keep in touch.

  
  

Wrapping It Up

Any significant life change can create feelings of stress and anxiety. By acknowledging the emotional impact, building a support network, establishing a routine, embracing a new culture, practicing self-care, and staying connected with home, you can navigate transitions with greater ease. Remember that it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed at times; what’s important is how you respond to those feelings.

Embrace your journey, and in time, your new home will feel just as familiar as the one you left behind.

A serene park offering a peaceful escape for walking, meditation, and relaxation.

Still Not Enough?

If feelings of anxiety become overwhelming, reach out to a mental health professional. They can offer tailored strategies and support based on your individual needs. There are many online therapists who will objectively guide you to feeling more comfortable in your new surroundings.